Dating Is Hard

Stumbling Through The Adventures And Misadventures Of Dating With God's Grace

The Couple Clause January 3, 2017

Filed under: Advice,Blog,Dates,Dating,friends — blueyedflicka @ 4:11 pm
Tags: , , , , , , ,


Dating…it can be something of a challenge as we get older. Heck, it has always been a challenge for me. I’m at the point in my life where friends now start to tell me about their vacation plans years ahead of time. I’m invited to go…only if at that time I have someone to go with as well. That’s right, I have entered into a Couple Clause. *tick tock*

Has this happened to you?

I honestly didn’t know it had come to this. I had never, at 34 years old (thanks December birthday), thought of myself in this situation. Just like Tim Allen in The Santa Clause 2, I have been given an ultimatum. Although I may not be saving Christmas the sentiment is the same. I cannot pass go without marriage.

Why do other couples do this to their single friends? Has it  been so long that they have  forgotten what its like to date? Do they want so desperately to see their single friends married for some reason? Is it not possible to be single and Heaven forbid…happy?

I take this all into consideration when this is brought to my attention. Couples doing things. Couples going places. And I understand from a Couples perspective that it can be a bit odd having a Single friend there amongst all the pairs. It’s odd for me too!

The thing is, ALL people are single at some point in their lives. For some it is a little longer than others. And yes, there are those that choose to remain single for the rest of their time on this Earth. The point is to respect that, to cherish the time you can have with them before it all becomes about fitting one another into each others schedules.

bag-of-salt         myth-of-living-life-to-the-fullest.jpg

God’s timing and plans are far greater than my own. It’s hard enough for me to understand it myself so please don’t make it any harder. Be patient with me, my time is coming and it will be better than anything I could have imagined.


Why Single Shouldn’t Be A Dirty Word January 14, 2013

I love my twitter friends and this one has definitely got her head on straight. I read her post today regarding being single at this stage in our lives and couldn’t agree more!

Take a look;

Leave her a note on her blog or mine and let us know what you think? Are you ready to rock single?


I Think I’m Being Bamboozled August 15, 2012

It seems like every time I sign up for a particular dating site I do not get the people interested in me that I am looking for. No wonder they call it a crap shoot. However, once my short little membership has ended I start getting flooded with emails regarding discounts to welcome me back, winks, and people who are suddenly interested in my profile because they said “yes”. Really? Where were these people when I was a paying member? Tell me that!

The worst part about it is that you have to be a paying member to know who these people are! You can’t even look at their profile. And it eats at you! I took the chance and the hit to my credit card once because I just couldn’t stand it any more not knowing. After a three-month membership I had all the sudden gotten three emails. So I signed back up and to my dismay it was much like these guys.

Then it hit me. Are any of these numbers or these interests real? Or is this site just trying to get my money back? So far I am refusing it. Go ahead and be interested all you want guys (or robots) but I’m not biting this time!


Blind Date July 20, 2012

Blind Date 2

Blind Date 2 (Photo credit: Big Al)

First off I would like to offer this word of caution when is comes to blind dates, its like rolling dice. The date could be the best experience of your life, or one of the worst. In my case, it was more towards the latter. I have witnesses that can attest to this.

It started as a simple request. One of my good friends wanted to go on a date. She was nervous and needed a wing woman. Asking me to go along to ease the tension seemed logical to her. Thinking back on it now, it really wasn’t a good idea to be a buffer friend during a date. Like Taylor Swift sang, I “Should’ve Said No”.

Yes, it’s okay to reach out to your friends for support but whatever you do, remember that they’re doing something nice for you. Please don’t hang them out to dry. If your going to set them up on a blind date so you can double date, find out what the other guy looks like. Don’t depend on the word of your date that his cousin is “not bad-looking”.

Why? The following will occur: a night of horrors.

As Paul Harvey would say, “and now the rest of the story…”

My friend showed up with the two guys in tow to my parents house. The doorbell rang, I crept to the door to check out my date through the peep-hole. And….I wanted to run. However, being the friend I am, I composed myself, got my mom to stop laughing after she saw the look on my face, and opened the door.

There they stood. One very tall big guy, one very short small not so good-looking guy, and my friend behind them mouthing how sorry she was. You can guess who my date was. I was introduced to my date and immediately felt over dressed as he was dirty booted, jean clad with a camo jacket and camo baseball cap. Yes, this was his best date attire. I believe my mom refers to him still as Shrek, only minus the humor and the voice of Mike Meyers.

The four of us headed to the nice BMW my friends date had driven (please note I always prefer a truck and don’t mind if the seat is a little dirty). My date and I were seated in the back. Silence ensued the entire ride. Well, except for him being on his phone most of the time texting while continuing to suck snot from his nose to the back of his throat. I was sure I was going to be sick. Thinking about it still makes me ill.

Our destination to the comedy club soon came and I was more than relieved to get out of the car. I’ve tried to erase this night so badly from my mind I don’t even remember who was at the club or if they were funny. I just remember there was a two drink minimum and I made sure it was met. I felt bad for my friends date who was trying to make the date work for not just one girl but two. He paid for everything. His cousin paid for nothing, not even his own drinks.

I suffered through the next few hours of this double date as I didn’t have a getaway and made small talk in which I learned even more interesting information of my “date” such as the fact that he has not graduated high school or even earned his GED. Did this bother him? Not in the slightest. Was he hard-working? Nope, didn’t even have a job.

I just wanted the night to be over. There were no redeeming qualities about him to try to make the night or the date better. I wish I was able to say that this was an experience I would never forget but honestly I have already forgotten a lot of it. Not really anything I needed to remember until now.

We didn’t go out after the comedy club, we just headed home. The happiest point in the entire date was when I was counting down the minutes until I would be safely locked behind my front door. The drive was quicker back than it was going. Relief set in as we reached my house.

I thanked my friend and her date for the ride, the “fun” night, and all but ran into my house. Mad dash might be more appropriate. I played softball and volleyball growing up so closing a short distance quickly is something that comes more easily to me. I utilize that when necessary, like running from a car to the house.

Needless to say we didn’t see each other again. I know you were wondering. From that point on I insist on seeing a picture if I go on a blind date. Well….nevermind that last sentence because I really don’t go on blind dates anymore. The one date ruined me for them, at least scared me from trying it for quite awhile after, as in I have not gone on any.

The next time you find yourself being asked if you would like to go on a blind date, whether it is a double date or not, I hope that this story might give you pause. Yes, it is lovely to trust your friends but do yourself a favor and get all the information she/he or you can before diving in. It will save you, your friend, and whoever else might be involved a lot of time, frustration, and money to just say no thanks.


%d bloggers like this: