Dating Is Hard

Stumbling Through The Adventures And Misadventures Of Dating With God's Grace

What Happens Next January 4, 2015

Filed under: Uncategorized — blueyedflicka @ 12:42 pm

PowerPoint-Template-New-Beginnings_slide1_426x320

The New Year has begun and with that comes new beginnings.

I’ve gone through many years before this, my 32nd year, and each one it always seems as if I make commitments to myself that I don’t stick to. Not because they were meaningless but because I never fully put myself into them. I didn’t give those commitments the commitment they deserved. Tasking myself can sometimes be more difficult than tasking others. I’ve become good at putting things off by busying myself with other things that don’t pertain to me but others.

I know it doesn’t sound completely awful when you think about it. But for me? It is. For anyone like me, it is. Why? It means that we’re not taking care of ourselves. To be able to help others, you have to take care of yourself first. And that’s what I plan on doing this year.

I got a FitBit. A new devotional. And a plan.

It’s time to make this 32nd year of my life count for me. Not to depend on others to do it for me by waiting on it to come my way but by making it happen. To stop standing in my own way. There is going to be some major construction ahead and with the right tools, I think I’m going to be just fine.

Advertisements
 

Cheers To The New Year January 3, 2015

Filed under: Uncategorized — blueyedflicka @ 2:39 pm

Happy-New-Year-Copy

The New Year has begun.

What does this mean? A bunch of resolutions going on. People all over the place are trying to start something new for the New Year. Will they stick to it? Who knows, but it’s not about the defeat or victory on whether or not the follow through happens and something good or bad comes out of it, it’s the journey. It’s the sticky in-between of everything and anything that can happen and making it through.

Change can’t happen without making a first step. Whatever that first step is, whether it’s a mistake or not, take it. Be the change you want to see.

You’ve got this.

 

Please Leave A Message September 29, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — blueyedflicka @ 12:39 am
Tags:

I did it. I made the call. Can’t believe that I actually made the call. And as I crossed my fingers and said a little prayer I got his voicemail. And left a message that I stumbled my way through. Cold, stuffed nose, and all I still left the message. Lord help me.

stuffy-nose-headache-400x400

And now I wait…and try not to let my head get to filled with doubt in-between.

 

Make The Call September 6, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — blueyedflicka @ 4:31 pm

I guess I’m writing this as a way to encourage myself. It seems at times that I can get a little too much into my head and I tend to miss out on things because I overthink everything before it even happens. I don’t think I’ve ever been one to jump the gun. No risk taking here. Well, I have taken a few risks here and there and they haven’t always been smart. A certain tattoo is a reminder of at least one occasion. 

The area that I seem to have the most problem taking risks and letting my hair down is probably the easiest for other people. Guys. I just don’t know how to act. Not having dating much in my formidable years I tend to shy away from being the confident woman I should be owning at this time in my life. After all women rule the world right? 

If only that would help me out in my personal life. I can conquer the daily tasks of work and get things done but when it comes to my private life, and romance in particular I become a timid church mouse. Which is not my typical personality. I’m usually the outgoing one who loves to have fun with her friends and have a good time. But guys, well they are a whole different story for me. 

So my advice to myself and from a blog I’m a fan of (http://thesinglewoman.net) is to do “one thing that will change my life”. For me, that’s just making a phone call. And I’m going to do it. I’m going to be brave. Get out and have fun, make the call and see where it takes me. 

Hello?

lady-phone

 

Dancing With Myself July 12, 2013

Filed under: Advice,Blog,Dates,Dating,Lessons — blueyedflicka @ 7:30 pm
Tags: , , , ,

Dancing-With-Myself

Sometimes I just have to take baby steps and start by dating…well, myself. I did that today. I know, it sounds a little weird, but it’s something that I’ve been trying to do to open myself up a little more. Take little trips, and do things by myself. Make myself more comfortable in the world outside.

I am typically, just not when it comes to being alone for too long. I don’t know if it’s because I’m screaming in my head, “stranger danger!” or if it’s just because with whatever I’m doing I just want to be left alone. I think I have people fooled that I’m more extroverted than I actually am.

What can I say? I should have been a spy with my skills of deception. On the other hand, days like this can prove to be interesting when I venture out on my own. Today, I went to the movies.

I had to catch up on a lot of the good movies that I have been missing. I almost went for a double feature but decided to catch up on blogging after the first one instead. After all, I’ve been stating that I need to blog more. So this was a prime opportunity as I already had everything with me.

The movie? White House Down. Excellent! It really keeps you to the end on what’s going on and why. A lot of things get blown up, and a lot of people are shot, and killed.

As for my experience, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. In my head I picture couples my age, teenagers, and guys pointing and staring at the girl by herself. Because everyone is focused on me right? Yeah, sure. NOT!

I walked in and got my free frozen drink and they scanned my ticket from Fandango, also free thanks to Christmas, and 20 minutes before the movie I am the only person in the theatre. What the heck is that all about? I must not have gone at the cool people’s time to go. This really sunk in when the only other people joining me in the theatre were couple’s in their 60’s. Even they had a date night!

Once they movie was started and I got relaxed it was actually really nice. I didn’t feel too uncomfortable being by myself. And that’s a good thing. I’ve been dependent a little too long on waiting for others to go and do something.

And that’s not the person I want to be. I’ve made too many excuses for not getting out and having fun. Being comfortable with yourself is a huge step in having confidence to be with someone else. If you don’t like hanging out with yourself, is anyone else going to?

Don’t get me wrong, I like being with just myself, now it’s time for me to start getting in the habit with extending that a little more. To stop worrying what others are going to think, people I don’t even know or interact with, and get on with picking me first, and making me happy.

I call one of my first dates with myself a great one. I even treated myself to coffee after. I shouldn’t really spoil myself too much though, I might get use to it.

 

Fishbowl July 5, 2013

Filed under: Blog,Dates,Dating — blueyedflicka @ 5:07 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

fishbowl

I don’t know how many times that it needs to be proven to me, as I live in what I consider a small town, even though we’re over 50k people strong, but everyone ends up knowing someone, somehow. And as I have seen in the last few months even the state is starting to get small. The world of country people makes things even smaller.

Someone can be from out-of-state and they will know someone you do. The connections just never seem to stop. This can be a good thing and a not so good thing. Especially when it comes to dating. Which for many reasons is why I tend to not date much. Or even honestly right now not at all.

A lot of people end up dating a friend of someone they dated, or a family member of someone they know. So it makes me careful not to be passed around from friend to friend until the right one fits. I’d like to get it right the first time please.

So what options are there then? To move? To stay single? To just deal with the situation at hand when it’s at hand? All of the above?

Each town or state seems to have the same problem. It’s better for the outsider (or maybe not since you may not know you dated the current guys cousin last week) with the odds than for someone who has grown up in the town. However, if you know the situation, and how your standards are then there shouldn’t be a problem at all. Whether that means being okay with dating your ex’s best friend, and them (the guys) being okay with it too, or if it means limiting your dating pool to one.

For this girl though, unless someone new moves to town, my dating limit is done. That is until I move. Which may have to be sooner rather than later as this fishbowl keeps getting smaller, and the only single guys left who don’t know someone I do, I probably baby-sat.

 

The Awkward Work Situation June 24, 2013

 

Why does it always seem that when you’re having a normal working day things can come out of left field and surprise you? This occured the other day while I was putting things away at work. That awkward moment when a guy asks me why I’m single. It seems like such an innocent question at first, yet can truly be more complicated than a simple answer of ” I just am.” They always want to know more. Usually it involves a questioning stare of “what’s wrong with you?”

Secondly, what seemed like an innocent work relationship with my normal sarcasm and wittiness towards co-workers backfired on me. More than once. I’ve been asked out at least five times. These guys are not my typical guys either. Annnnnd it makes it super uncomfortable for me. Why? I am horrible at confrontation and letting someone down, otherwise known as that horrible word. Rejection.

Knowing what I want in life and who I’d like to have in my life with me doesn’t always attract the right guy and situation I’d like myself going towards. I have constantly wondered why this keeps happening to me. What am I doing wrong? Through the help of some awesome friends, and a book I am currently reading, I have learned that somewhere down the line I started undervaluing myself not only in love but in life (that job I’ve always wanted but seem to think I’m not good enough for, and let other circumstances and excuses get in my way).

I let myself be comfortable in situations that don’t necessarily benefit me. I am socially extroverted easily towards people I am not attracted to. I don’t put the pressure of a romantic relationship in the equation. So it’s easy for me to be myself.

Now I know why these guys at work keep coming up to me. I’m relaxed, for the most part, and just being me, because I’m not worried about dating, guys, and the possibilities of what could happen. I’ve even gotten to the point of just telling them “I don’t date co-workers” and even more recently said “I like rodeos, cows, horses, and the country”, and thankfully they agreed it would not be a good match. Also, more than half of these guys were divorced/separated, had baby mama drama, and more than one kid.

I’m okay with kids, and even divorce. When it comes down to questioning my value, I don’t even hesitate to politely show them the door. After the initial embarrassment of it all, that is. By my value (note I didn’t say values) I mean not what I would like in someone else, but what I like in myself, and how I hold myself personally to a standard. Valuing myself first is the key to my happiness, and others will see that. Like I’ve been told, “sometimes you have to pick yourself”.

 

 
%d bloggers like this: