Dating Is Hard

Stumbling Through The Adventures And Misadventures Of Dating With God's Grace

Isaiah 40:31 January 10, 2015

Filed under: Advice,Blog,Dating,Lessons — blueyedflicka @ 11:39 am
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“but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

There are days when I get ahead of myself and start thinking that I know what’s best for me. My plans, my way, my life. Yes, there are decisions I make on a daily basis that affect all of that. Yet, when I get ahead of myself and start trying to figure it all out because nothing is going according to plan, I forget whose plan it really is. God’s. He knows me better than anyone, even myself, and He knows what’s best for me. He strengthens me when I lose hope.

I know that some day everything will fall into place where it should be. Where God wants it to be. I’m not going to settle for less than what God wants for me because it is what I want for myself. It just takes a little reminder once in a while, like a silly little Facebook quiz asking questions to find out what my Bible verse is to knock on my head and soften my heart to God’s voice. To be reminded that He knows my call, He hears me, and He wants the best for me. It just may take a little more time than I had planned because He too wants it to be perfect, and doesn’t want me to settle for anything less than the best that He has planned for me.

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Plan A January 8, 2015

Filed under: Advice,Dating,Lessons — blueyedflicka @ 10:25 pm
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We’ve all had a Plan A. It starts out in what we think is something we want and goes from there. However, Plan A doesn’t always work out, then what? We make another plan, and another hoping that at some point the right plan will come along and everything will work out.

So what makes up a plan? What makes a plan work? Simple answer? You. A plan doesn’t exist without you. So who’s to say you need to keep going through plan after plan that doesn’t seem to work? If it’s your plan, you have the right to change it. Things happen, people change, so change the plan along with it. Adapt. And just because you have a plan, whether it’s about your career goals, personal goals, or love life remember that the only one besides you that has a say in the outcome is God.

And if you’re not on track with Him…chances are the plans you have are not right for you anyway.

 

Dancing With Myself July 12, 2013

Filed under: Advice,Blog,Dates,Dating,Lessons — blueyedflicka @ 7:30 pm
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Sometimes I just have to take baby steps and start by dating…well, myself. I did that today. I know, it sounds a little weird, but it’s something that I’ve been trying to do to open myself up a little more. Take little trips, and do things by myself. Make myself more comfortable in the world outside.

I am typically, just not when it comes to being alone for too long. I don’t know if it’s because I’m screaming in my head, “stranger danger!” or if it’s just because with whatever I’m doing I just want to be left alone. I think I have people fooled that I’m more extroverted than I actually am.

What can I say? I should have been a spy with my skills of deception. On the other hand, days like this can prove to be interesting when I venture out on my own. Today, I went to the movies.

I had to catch up on a lot of the good movies that I have been missing. I almost went for a double feature but decided to catch up on blogging after the first one instead. After all, I’ve been stating that I need to blog more. So this was a prime opportunity as I already had everything with me.

The movie? White House Down. Excellent! It really keeps you to the end on what’s going on and why. A lot of things get blown up, and a lot of people are shot, and killed.

As for my experience, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. In my head I picture couples my age, teenagers, and guys pointing and staring at the girl by herself. Because everyone is focused on me right? Yeah, sure. NOT!

I walked in and got my free frozen drink and they scanned my ticket from Fandango, also free thanks to Christmas, and 20 minutes before the movie I am the only person in the theatre. What the heck is that all about? I must not have gone at the cool people’s time to go. This really sunk in when the only other people joining me in the theatre were couple’s in their 60’s. Even they had a date night!

Once they movie was started and I got relaxed it was actually really nice. I didn’t feel too uncomfortable being by myself. And that’s a good thing. I’ve been dependent a little too long on waiting for others to go and do something.

And that’s not the person I want to be. I’ve made too many excuses for not getting out and having fun. Being comfortable with yourself is a huge step in having confidence to be with someone else. If you don’t like hanging out with yourself, is anyone else going to?

Don’t get me wrong, I like being with just myself, now it’s time for me to start getting in the habit with extending that a little more. To stop worrying what others are going to think, people I don’t even know or interact with, and get on with picking me first, and making me happy.

I call one of my first dates with myself a great one. I even treated myself to coffee after. I shouldn’t really spoil myself too much though, I might get use to it.

 

The Awkward Work Situation June 24, 2013

 

Why does it always seem that when you’re having a normal working day things can come out of left field and surprise you? This occured the other day while I was putting things away at work. That awkward moment when a guy asks me why I’m single. It seems like such an innocent question at first, yet can truly be more complicated than a simple answer of ” I just am.” They always want to know more. Usually it involves a questioning stare of “what’s wrong with you?”

Secondly, what seemed like an innocent work relationship with my normal sarcasm and wittiness towards co-workers backfired on me. More than once. I’ve been asked out at least five times. These guys are not my typical guys either. Annnnnd it makes it super uncomfortable for me. Why? I am horrible at confrontation and letting someone down, otherwise known as that horrible word. Rejection.

Knowing what I want in life and who I’d like to have in my life with me doesn’t always attract the right guy and situation I’d like myself going towards. I have constantly wondered why this keeps happening to me. What am I doing wrong? Through the help of some awesome friends, and a book I am currently reading, I have learned that somewhere down the line I started undervaluing myself not only in love but in life (that job I’ve always wanted but seem to think I’m not good enough for, and let other circumstances and excuses get in my way).

I let myself be comfortable in situations that don’t necessarily benefit me. I am socially extroverted easily towards people I am not attracted to. I don’t put the pressure of a romantic relationship in the equation. So it’s easy for me to be myself.

Now I know why these guys at work keep coming up to me. I’m relaxed, for the most part, and just being me, because I’m not worried about dating, guys, and the possibilities of what could happen. I’ve even gotten to the point of just telling them “I don’t date co-workers” and even more recently said “I like rodeos, cows, horses, and the country”, and thankfully they agreed it would not be a good match. Also, more than half of these guys were divorced/separated, had baby mama drama, and more than one kid.

I’m okay with kids, and even divorce. When it comes down to questioning my value, I don’t even hesitate to politely show them the door. After the initial embarrassment of it all, that is. By my value (note I didn’t say values) I mean not what I would like in someone else, but what I like in myself, and how I hold myself personally to a standard. Valuing myself first is the key to my happiness, and others will see that. Like I’ve been told, “sometimes you have to pick yourself”.

 

Accents January 30, 2013

I can’t help it. I like accents. Or should I say I love them? Especially when a man has one. I mean, come on…it’s just melting.They surround us constantly whether someone is from a different country or within our own country. They just rock. There are however some accents that make me swoon.

1. Australian

English: Chris Hemsworth at the 2010 San Deigo...

Ex: Hugh Jackman, Chris Hemsworth, Simon Baker, Sam Worthington, Heath Ledger, and Alex O’Loughlin to name a few. Plus the fact that they aren’t bad to look at doesn’t hurt the situation either.

2. Irish and Scottish

Scottish actor Gerard Butler at the press conf...

Ex: Gerard Butler. Need I say more? Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Colin Farrell, Liam Neeson, Sean Connery, Dougray Scott, James McAvoy.

3. British

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Ex: Daniel Craig, Colin Firth, Paul Bettany, Clive Owens.

4. South African

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Ex: Charlize Theron, Arnold Vosloo

5. Italian

Ex: Monica Bellucci, and the rest well, are from old-time Hollywood or in foreign films most of us have not seen.

Just something about these above mentioned accents is awesome. There are a ton more I’m sure if I heard a lot more of I’d love just as much. As I was saying, I am a fan of accents. Words just seem to roll off the tongue better with one.

This even applies to people in the South like Alabama. I have a couple of friends from there that I love hearing from. That drawl gets me every time. And the politeness of the “ma’am” when spoken too. Oh, and if you’ve ever had someone call you “baby” with that accent, it’s well worth it. And probably the only time I have ever liked it.

Being called “ma’am” in Texas within hours of driving into the state and having the door opened for you by a perfect stranger. Chivalry dead? Not everywhere! I think I probably had a goofy shocked look on my face.

No matter where the accent comes from, ( minus some slang, and certain other areas that make the American public look not the brightest) they’re pretty neat. Accents define where you’re from, and add to character. And as we’ve seen in acting are easy to drop or pick up. Kind of.

It’s weird that some people don’t like accents to me. I’ve heard people say that they try to drop their accent because people don’t like it or can’t understand them. Who cares? Let it fly I say! People already give up so much of who they are to fit “the norm” why give that up to? Embrace it.

If someone makes fun, they’re just jealous. And if I ever mimic an accent, it’s because I’m jealous. I LOVE them. If I could be surrounded by accents daily I would. Bring them on world! Let’s keep our cultures alive and well. Differences are beautiful.

 

Man Made Distractions January 29, 2013

It’s hard at times to not get distracted from the things in life that I really want, by the things in life that I would like to have. So in that frame of mind I did something a little off the book. Or more so, I should say off the plan. I went through and found all my online dating profiles and deleted them all. That’s right, gone.

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I realized with the ringing in of the new year, my 30th birthday, and starting to move forward instead of standing still, that I was not doing what was best for me by letting myself get distracted by one of the things I would like in my life. A boyfriend, you know, the type to eventually become a husband and all that other Cinderella stuff. Not that I have one but the pursuit of one is what has been my problem. All of this online dating, which really just ends up being online ogling at profile after profile because we women actually read profiles and then consumes well, hours.

Meanwhile I’m becoming a hermit. Let’s face it, that’s not exactly the best way to get a date. Looking back on it, it’s super lazy. I can sit in my pajamas with no makeup and “see” all the men I want without ever having to go anywhere. Sounds good doesn’t it? But where does it get me? Nowhere. I’m still sitting at home, in my pajamas with no makeup on.

Tucking myself a little harder into that box I so comfortably fit into. For the new year and the start of my 30’s I’ll be stepping out of the box. Or maybe I should say busting out. Dating is scary and an easy way to ease that is by putting up walls via the internet.

So I’m challenging myself. Baby steps, but I’m going to do it. Get out and do things I want to do. Stop waiting around and just looking, and do.

Is there something missing from your life? Something that you’ve always wanted to do but got distracted from? Get out there and do it! Here’s to adventure and the pursuit of love and life! Corny, I know, but go with me on this. Because while we’re sitting at home all comfortable, other people are living their lives, going after their dreams, and being happy. Why should we be envious of them for getting what they want out of life when we have the ability to do the same? And after all, our dreams are way cooler.

 

 

 

 

10 Great Comebacks January 28, 2013

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Ever get the question of “why are you still single?” especially around the holidays? Besides yah know, the every time you see someone normalcy. Or when there is a new single guy in the room and people try to pair you up, or on a date and a guy asks you? Cause, that’s not awkward. Here are 10 great comebacks to that question.

  1. Just lucky, I guess.
  2. Name one married superhero. Exactly.
  3. My mail-order spouse should be arriving any day now.
  4. Jesus was single. Would you be bugging him?
  5. Because no company is better than bad company.
  6. There are just too many proposals to pick from.
  7. What’s the rush?
  8. I don’t like to share.
  9. Haven’t seen anyone of interest yet.
  10. True love is worth waiting for. I’m not going to settle just because I’ve been single for a while.
 

 
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