Dating Is Hard

Stumbling Through The Adventures And Misadventures Of Dating With God's Grace

The Couple Clause January 3, 2017

Filed under: Advice,Blog,Dates,Dating,friends — blueyedflicka @ 4:11 pm
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the-third-wheel.jpg

Dating…it can be something of a challenge as we get older. Heck, it has always been a challenge for me. I’m at the point in my life where friends now start to tell me about their vacation plans years ahead of time. I’m invited to go…only if at that time I have someone to go with as well. That’s right, I have entered into a Couple Clause. *tick tock*

Has this happened to you?

I honestly didn’t know it had come to this. I had never, at 34 years old (thanks December birthday), thought of myself in this situation. Just like Tim Allen in The Santa Clause 2, I have been given an ultimatum. Although I may not be saving Christmas the sentiment is the same. I cannot pass go without marriage.

Why do other couples do this to their single friends? Has it  been so long that they have  forgotten what its like to date? Do they want so desperately to see their single friends married for some reason? Is it not possible to be single and Heaven forbid…happy?

I take this all into consideration when this is brought to my attention. Couples doing things. Couples going places. And I understand from a Couples perspective that it can be a bit odd having a Single friend there amongst all the pairs. It’s odd for me too!

The thing is, ALL people are single at some point in their lives. For some it is a little longer than others. And yes, there are those that choose to remain single for the rest of their time on this Earth. The point is to respect that, to cherish the time you can have with them before it all becomes about fitting one another into each others schedules.

bag-of-salt         myth-of-living-life-to-the-fullest.jpg

God’s timing and plans are far greater than my own. It’s hard enough for me to understand it myself so please don’t make it any harder. Be patient with me, my time is coming and it will be better than anything I could have imagined.

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A Friend November 10, 2012

Filed under: Advice,Blog,friends,Lessons,Uncategorized — blueyedflicka @ 9:25 am
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This repost is from a friend in need. There is always something coincidental about things that happen to be so similar or things that make you wonder if it all happened for a reason or no reason at all. For those of us that know better it’s not coincidence. It’s God. His plan had always been better than ours. We just can’t always see it.

But when we do get a glimpse, we know. We know that He’s working it out for us. He’s letting us know that He’s got our backs. Nothing is more reassuring than that.

This friend is in need of prayer. To me, at times it has always been a hard thing to ask for. To completely give my life over to God, to lose control, and not worry. I’m stubborn that way.

For Jesse, she’s doing just that. So please I ask, take a quick moment of your day after reading this and have a little conversation with God for her. I know it always helps when someone does for me.

~ A

 

Misfire August 14, 2012

I had a fellow dating blogger write a post recently about the Accidental Text, you can read her post here. It triggered a moment in my dating history a few years back when I was on a date and happened to misfire a text that was supposed to go to a friend of mine inquiring how the date was going and instead went to my date, who happened to be in the passenger seat right next to me.

Talk about an awkward moment. Thankfully I had and have a good enough relationship with this person that I was able to just tell him like it is. We had been and are still friends.

So here is what happened…

He asked me out to dinner. My favorite food is Italian so he took me to the Olive Garden. Yum! I was excited! Then I find out that I have to pick him up. Yup. I’m driving out-of-town to the date I was asked on. Not exactly how I saw the date going to begin with.

Before I pick him up I go to the trouble of looking nice. First date you kind of want to make an impression right? Cute shoes, nice jeans, pretty top, and jewelry. Being the woman I am and the things that I typically do and wear i.e.; boots normally covered in something other than dirt, jeans, t-shirt, and a baseball cap or cowgirl hat and sunglasse.s with minimal makeup, dressing up is something that rarely occurs so when it does its nice. At least that’s what was going through my head at the time.

Apparently that was not the case for my date. The minute he walked up to the car I felt overdressed. It must have read over my face because he asked, “what?” I think I might have said something to the effect of “you’re wearing that?” as I was shocked at his casual attire (jeans, comfy shoes, glasses, and hair that looked like he just woke from a nap) and the immediate turn off that it was. He offered to go and change but I just let my ego go and said that it’s fine, while in the back of my head kicking myself for getting too involved in a date that didn’t seem as important to him as it was to me potentially.

I should have known how that moment was setting a tone for the rest of the evening. Once we got to the restaurant and were seating at our table the normal chatter that use to be teasing and slightly comfortable became annoying as his insecurities began to surface. I know better than to bring up members of the opposite sex or exes on a date. He did not. He started questioning about all the people I knew from his school, how I knew them, and how well. Assuming of course that I must have dated them all.

Which resulted in an hour or so of trying to defend myself and comfort his ego. Apparently a lot of the people I knew were the guys that got the girls (not this one) in school and the guy sitting across from me was always the wingman. A wingman that had a hard time believing this girl was not one of those girls. We finished eating and headed out to my car.

My idea of cute shoes were then brought into conversation as I had made the mistake of wearing heels next to a man who was not taller than I. This resulted in a Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban situation that did not bode well with my date. I can’t help that heels make my normal 5’9″ a “giant” but I hope not to repeat that mistake again.

Once in the car after shooting off a text to my friend that the date was not going so well I sent another after being asked “Why? What’s he doing?” Shortly after pressing send I see the phone in the seat next to me buzz. He picks it up and looks at it and then looks at me. I half smile. He then turns the phone to me and says, “I’m being an ass huh?”

A quick moment of panic washes over me as I realize what I had done. I had sent a rushed text to who I thought was my friend and instead had been my date. Yeeeeaaahh. The text had said something to the effect of him being an ass most the night. I quickly recovered, looked him straight in the eye and told him point-blank, “well, you are.”

Needless to say after some discussion we decided that dating was probably not the best option for us. Or maybe it was more me that made the decision. Thankfully though we ended up having a better friendship. I guess things can work out, although not in the way you may have intended initially, with a little bit of open honesty.

 

Dating Serenity Prayer August 7, 2012

Now THIS hits the spot! Amen!

dating tourettes

 

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Blind Date July 20, 2012

Blind Date 2

Blind Date 2 (Photo credit: Big Al)

First off I would like to offer this word of caution when is comes to blind dates, its like rolling dice. The date could be the best experience of your life, or one of the worst. In my case, it was more towards the latter. I have witnesses that can attest to this.

It started as a simple request. One of my good friends wanted to go on a date. She was nervous and needed a wing woman. Asking me to go along to ease the tension seemed logical to her. Thinking back on it now, it really wasn’t a good idea to be a buffer friend during a date. Like Taylor Swift sang, I “Should’ve Said No”.

Yes, it’s okay to reach out to your friends for support but whatever you do, remember that they’re doing something nice for you. Please don’t hang them out to dry. If your going to set them up on a blind date so you can double date, find out what the other guy looks like. Don’t depend on the word of your date that his cousin is “not bad-looking”.

Why? The following will occur: a night of horrors.

As Paul Harvey would say, “and now the rest of the story…”

My friend showed up with the two guys in tow to my parents house. The doorbell rang, I crept to the door to check out my date through the peep-hole. And….I wanted to run. However, being the friend I am, I composed myself, got my mom to stop laughing after she saw the look on my face, and opened the door.

There they stood. One very tall big guy, one very short small not so good-looking guy, and my friend behind them mouthing how sorry she was. You can guess who my date was. I was introduced to my date and immediately felt over dressed as he was dirty booted, jean clad with a camo jacket and camo baseball cap. Yes, this was his best date attire. I believe my mom refers to him still as Shrek, only minus the humor and the voice of Mike Meyers.

The four of us headed to the nice BMW my friends date had driven (please note I always prefer a truck and don’t mind if the seat is a little dirty). My date and I were seated in the back. Silence ensued the entire ride. Well, except for him being on his phone most of the time texting while continuing to suck snot from his nose to the back of his throat. I was sure I was going to be sick. Thinking about it still makes me ill.

Our destination to the comedy club soon came and I was more than relieved to get out of the car. I’ve tried to erase this night so badly from my mind I don’t even remember who was at the club or if they were funny. I just remember there was a two drink minimum and I made sure it was met. I felt bad for my friends date who was trying to make the date work for not just one girl but two. He paid for everything. His cousin paid for nothing, not even his own drinks.

I suffered through the next few hours of this double date as I didn’t have a getaway and made small talk in which I learned even more interesting information of my “date” such as the fact that he has not graduated high school or even earned his GED. Did this bother him? Not in the slightest. Was he hard-working? Nope, didn’t even have a job.

I just wanted the night to be over. There were no redeeming qualities about him to try to make the night or the date better. I wish I was able to say that this was an experience I would never forget but honestly I have already forgotten a lot of it. Not really anything I needed to remember until now.

We didn’t go out after the comedy club, we just headed home. The happiest point in the entire date was when I was counting down the minutes until I would be safely locked behind my front door. The drive was quicker back than it was going. Relief set in as we reached my house.

I thanked my friend and her date for the ride, the “fun” night, and all but ran into my house. Mad dash might be more appropriate. I played softball and volleyball growing up so closing a short distance quickly is something that comes more easily to me. I utilize that when necessary, like running from a car to the house.

Needless to say we didn’t see each other again. I know you were wondering. From that point on I insist on seeing a picture if I go on a blind date. Well….nevermind that last sentence because I really don’t go on blind dates anymore. The one date ruined me for them, at least scared me from trying it for quite awhile after, as in I have not gone on any.

The next time you find yourself being asked if you would like to go on a blind date, whether it is a double date or not, I hope that this story might give you pause. Yes, it is lovely to trust your friends but do yourself a favor and get all the information she/he or you can before diving in. It will save you, your friend, and whoever else might be involved a lot of time, frustration, and money to just say no thanks.

 

First Look June 28, 2012

Here is the post from Heather Smith Photography about our photo shoot the other night. Hope you guys like the photos so far. I do! Can’t wait to see what else she did with what pictures she took.

Click here to see what we did the other night.

Couldn’t have had a better friend/photographer to work with!

 

Photo Shoot June 27, 2012

Filed under: Blog,friends — blueyedflicka @ 12:12 pm
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I’m not a big fan of getting my picture taken. I can’t even really think of a time when I ever have been. I just feel awkward. Posing is not something I’m comfortable with. I much prefer being behind the camera.

Like below…I can’t naturally just do that. I feel goofy.

English: Heaven band

English: Heaven band (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

1) My arms start to feel like   they don’t belong to my body.

2) I can’t stop laughing and then my shoulders shake.

3) There is always wind coming from some direction that causing hair to be in my mouth.

4) My tummy gets upset

5) I don’t ever think I look right or feel comfortable.

6) I’m super critical about every feature, bump, curve, etc. that physically looks wrong to me. Yes, my image is a little skewed. Imagine that beauty magazine subscribers!

7) I start to sweat. A lot.

Those are just a few examples of things that run through my head when anyone wants to take my picture. Which is why my mom rarely gets photos of her children, except when we were…children. Back then we couldn’t say no. Unfortunately some times even now we can’t say no. That’s known as holidays and birthdays.

However last night I was able to relax a little. I had brought this upon myself by actually *gulp* asking for pictures from my friend Heather. Not to be confused with my sister, Heather. I had figured it was time to get some nice head shots at least to update some business things.

So why not, I thought, do that with someone I am comfortable with? I have to admit though that I was still nervous. It was like I was going on a date. My tummy got all tied up in knots and I didn’t know what to wear. I almost cancelled.

Once I got out to Heather’s house and we starting talking, and she gave me a beer, I relaxed. I still had my little awkward moments but she just worked right through them and we continued to talk and laugh. Before I knew it we were done. I should have the results of that photo shoot up in a couple of weeks. She’s one busy girl! And Heather’s photos are amazing!

Check them out here: Heather Smith Photography

I really enjoyed my sunset shoot with Heather and actually relaxed enough to have fun and from what she says get some great shots. Yeah! Thanks Heather for being so great! Even if I’m never going to be a model, I’ll work with you any time.

 

 
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