I have to admit that I’ve seen The Bachelor, and The Bachelorette more than once. And every time it drives me nuts! All of these women or men competing over one person. Getting played by one another, drawing out people’s feelings for show ratings, etc. There is no way in heck that I could do that. Too much chick drama.
Plus, I’m horrible at hiding my emotions. I can keep certain things bundled up but faking whether I like someone…I just can’t do it. It’s like there is some big flashing sign on my forehead. Or a big red X flashes across like on Family Feud when the wrong answer is given, or in this case the wrong guy approaches.
Yet with all of my online dating experience I can’t help but start to see some similarities after time. Online dating is A LOT like The Bachelor. I had never really thought about it, because, well, it’s not as in your face as The Bachelor is. Then I had it pointed out to me by my last online interest.
Cowboy: “So I’ve gone on two dates with two different women since I’ve been on the dating site. And they both say they’re “into me” or “like me a lot”.
Um, okay? And why did he feel he needed to tell me this? Because I wasn’t doting on him like they were. I’m just not that girl. I’m not going to just throw out my feelings to someone I’ve never met, went on a date with, or even gotten a straight answer from in an email.
If you’re trying to capture my attention and heart…USE YOUR WORDS! It is the most annoying thing when you bounce around and don’t answer something I have asked or completely ignore it. I’m trying to get to know the guy, he’s got to give me something for me to want more and be interested. More on this experience later. Boy oh boy was it a flop too!
Back to where I was…which was…AH! Examples!
When your online dating you don’t realize most of the time that there are other women. Heck, when you’re dating period, you don’t think about other women. Truth be told, I do. More so when I am dating someone in person, in my hometown, who I can hear things about. Which is exactly like The Bachelor!
Sitting there watching as the guy your there for goes out with a group of women before you. He kisses other women and you hear about it. There isn’t a move made that your able to ignore. And that’s the way they like it, THAT’S what sells. Chick drama.
Not so much online. It’s like an invisible shield goes up and you think you’re the only two on the site even when you’ve looked at other profiles. It feels more close encounter and mysterious because all of the background chatter isn’t happening. Until it’s brought up, like Cowboy mentioned above.
So why is it so hard then to raise that shield in other forms of dating? Focus on the one person your interested in? Not let others intervene. Simple, curiosity gets the best of us. We want to know more, so we ask, especially if the guy is not spilling it himself. We want to protect ourselves from being duped.
Yet, sometimes we get in our own way. So what does it take for us to be able to step out of our own way, stop listening to all the chick talk, and just let things happen?