Dating Is Hard

Stumbling Through The Adventures And Misadventures Of Dating With God's Grace

Summer Lovin’ November 14, 2012

Filed under: Advice,Blog,Dates,Dating,Dating Online,Lessons — blueyedflicka @ 1:09 pm
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Insert Grease song here ⬇

I don’t even know where to begin with this. Why? It is not something I ever have happen to myself. For me, it’s always the other woman.

At least that’s the way I feel. I am shy normally when it comes to my feelings. I don’t want to step on toes. I don’t want to hurt feelings. Risk is something I tread lightly taking when it comes to romance, feelings, and love. I put up walls and protect myself. I take caution because when I do step out of my comfort zone, and it’s just so cozy in the nice little comfort zone that I built, I get burned.

Saying that, this is what happened one summer when I relaxed and just let things happen;

I tend to be sarcastic. I know, this may come as a shock to some of you…I try to be not as sarcastic, tone it down a little, but it can exude from me without warning at times. I’ve been told I can chop someone down pretty quick. Recently I had a guy from high school tell me “still putting me in my place after all these years. I was always nervous around you, ’cause you were smart enough and brave enough to shut down my bull even in high school. Cheers to you, madam.”  I never knew but always wondered if my mama was right, she’s always told me I had a quick tongue.

I guess I need someone with somewhat of sarcastic nature themselves who can dish it out just as good to challenge me. Someone who can draw me out of my shell. Gets my jokes and comments. Swim and not sink. It’s rare.

Like a diamond in the rough…

Disney’s Aladdin

What? Oh, I got lost in my thoughts again. Anyway…Here’s the story:

I wasn’t expecting someone to change my point of view. Rock my world off kilter. Then he walked up to my door. Bam! I couldn’t help but be taken aback by the initial attraction.

Tall, handsome, nice smile. AND I still had to do my job. Difficult? Just a little I’d say as my brain didn’t seem to want to function. I pulled through and was able to get the information I needed, give him, his family, and friends a tour, and remain professional and not completely humiliate myself. For those who don’t know me very well or may not have witnessed it, when I’m attracted to someone I tend to get quiet as a church mouse. Words most time don’t even come out. And I flush a nice pink.

I felt like patting myself on the back for being able to overcome that! I guess I can be thankful that I had my job to help me out of my comfort zone. It was only Day 1. Yikes!

The week was pretty much a whirlwind and blur. Not everything that happened will be in order in this story. I was in a bit of a daze. Like I said, knocked off kilter by the unexpected.

I love puzzles. It challenges your mind. Makes you think. Whether it’s a jumble of rings put together that you have to get apart or putting together an 1,000 piece plus of art. Somehow this love of mine was what helped put the two of us together all the time.

It started with me just being in the game room getting a puzzle to work on (I was also kind of putting myself purposely in the same room when I normally would have gone to bed, brave right?). I had started doing them over winter to keep me entertained. This geeky side of me might be the only time it may have possibly attracted someone. I say may because I’m still not sure.

Back to puzzles. After sitting down and getting my puzzle prepared I found myself being drawn in by the happenings at the other tables. Card games and puzzle bracelets being played. Especially the frustration that seemed to be coming from a certain guy who wasn’t able to get the puzzle chain undone (he was also being goaded from his peers). My smirk might have given me away.

I was then tasked to best him by solving it when he couldn’t. They (his friends and family) guessed I’d be able to solve it, and passed it to me. Being one who doesn’t like to back down from a challenge I got to work. Low and behold I figured it out. Victory!

This seemed to spur the rest of the week for continued endeavors. Typically from what I’ve heard, witnessed, or been a part of, guys don’t like to be beaten in a challenge. Am I wrong about that? Let me know.

The huge puzzle I had picked out earlier became worked on days and nights, when possible, until it was finished by just about everyone. That in itself was a competition as to who placed the most pieces. Conversations occurred in rocking chairs, visits to my office to say good morning while checking merchandise. Simple things.

All of these little simple things I couldn’t help but question my sanity. Was he flirting? He sure made me nervous! He had a girlfriend, although from what his family and friends noted it wasn’t anything “serious”. He was even being teased about the relationship with his girlfriend. I kept my nose out of it and just listened. After all I figured I had no chance.

Other co-workers seemed to be interested in him as well. More forward co-workers than I. So, as I said before I tend to step back, let the other woman have her chance. I’ve never been one to play the game of “all is fair in love and war”. I guess I just figured if he was the right one, I wouldn’t have to fight. Sounds nice and easy doesn’t it?

If only.

I got a chance to hang out with his friends on my off day. We had a lot of fun. I worked on the puzzle some more after lunch and was joined by him a little after. Just enough for him to joke with me and then take off for the plans he had already made that afternoon.

I met up with his friends to finish out the rest of our day with a little fly fishing. While we were deciding which way to go he was brought up. I don’t remember exactly who said what. Maybe I was asked what I thought of him. And maybe in my reply I said something about thinking he was nice, even liking him but doubting that he even was interested. After all, there were the other girls.

I just remember that I was told he liked me. Proof being that he had left his friends and family telling them that he had to check my progress on the puzzle. While he had made it seem to me like he had just wondered in not knowing I was there. Interesting don’t you think?

His friends mentioned he knew where I was and what I was doing most of the time. Most of the time I could probably say the same thing about me for him. It was an easy relaxed situation. They also mentioned that he didn’t give the time of day to any of the other girls, my co-workers. Huh. That stumped me.

At the end of the week I was smitten. His friends and family seemed to be for me liking him and he liking me. Knowing that, I still couldn’t bring myself to be forward. I really liked this guy, but I also wanted to respect the fact he had a girlfriend. We were even from the same home state but what were the chances we’d see each other again?

The last night was stretching on and we all were having a good time hanging out, telling stories, and joking around. Just as I thought the night was over, I was being handed one of our business cards from one of his friends. By the time I wrapped my head around the fact that his friend and he had written their numbers on the back of the card he was gone.

What just happened?!

I didn’t know what to do. I was frozen. I’d never been given a phone number from a guy. Was I suppose to call him? There were no instructions! No “call me”, just a number and a name. Ahhhh!!!

The next morning before they left I thought “I’ll ask him, I’ll just be bold and forward and ask”. Did I? No. I was too caught off guard by the hug goodbye I got from him. Again the encouraging from his family to keep in touch. What a great week they had. And then they left.

A few months later, even a year after I’ve been brave and thrown out a few texts to him. I’ve gotten replies but nothing really further. I don’t know if he still has a girlfriend or if he was ever really interested. I don’t know if I’ll ever really know.

I’d like to. Even though it was only a week, it left an impression on me. One that, if I knew there was a possibility I would have to rethink what I really want. He could be the guy, the man, to do that.

So now what to do? How will I know?

*cue Whitney Houston*

*I apologize for my child of the 80’s moments during the post but it just can’t be helped at times, my brain wonders*


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