There is a lot that can be wrong with this phrase. I’ve heard it a lot lately in my online dating experience. I get an email that says something like, “what a great smile! I think we have a lot in common and I’d like to get to know you more.” In return I take a gander at their profile with high hopes that what he says is true. And it always slaps me right back in the face!
We have NOTHING in common. Unless there is the slight possibility that race, eye color, hair color, or the fact that we’re both online dating counts. And even then sometimes that isn’t the case. It’s like oil and water. There is nothing about their profiles that would ever intrigue me to a first date let alone a response besides the polite “no thanks”. I at least give that, because being on the other end and having liked what I saw and read in profiles, stuck my neck out there and “winked” or showed interest ( because there WAS things in common) and heard nothing back hurts. Then again I’ve also replied nicely back like that before and been told off. I wasn’t completely 100% honest in my reply so I guess I understand that now but that story is for another time.
So the question begs then why do all of these dating sites require people to fill out all these personality tests and questionnaires if NO ONE bothers to read them? At least that is what it seems like to me when I get the emails mentioned above. There is no way they could have read my profile and thought we had something in common. Please note that the above sample of an email I received is a little edited on my behalf because what they usually end up saying is more like, “your hot”, or have tons of spelling errors like, “wood u like to talk?”
Spelling and grammar whether in texting or emailing is a huge turn off. Yes, there are shortcuts but I try not to use them. It bugs me. It bugs me because it bugs my sister. And my sister can kick my butt, literally she’s a black belt, so I don’t do it. Well, I try not to, sometimes I just can’t help it.
Dating is hard enough but getting random “winks” and emails from people who are solely looking at your pictures and not even reading your profile, yes I’m calling you visual males out!, just makes it worse. I understand that online dating gives men and women an extra boost of confidence that they normally wouldn’t have if they were to see or meet someone during their normal day but COME ON! Give me something to work with!
If time can be taken to check out my pictures time can be taken to read my profile. It’s not an epic, it’s just a summary about me. You know, that woman your trying to get to “wink” or email you back when you say something like, “we have a lot in common”.
- You sent me a “Wink?” Are you kidding me? (idisagreecompletely.com)
- Before there was online dating, there was… the wingman (howtoonlinedate.wordpress.com)
- Online dating: how to send the perfect opening email (telegraph.co.uk)
- Online dating means e-mail overload for women (lfpress.com)
- Online Dating: Where Love is Just a Click Away (makinthebacon1.wordpress.com)