Nobody likes coming in second. That’s a given. At least for those competitive people. But what about in a situation such as dating?
Is it okay to date a friends ex? Are there limits to this? Does it matter if your male or female? I’ve always heard the rumors of a man code saying you can’t date your friends ex. And I myself at times think it would be weird to date someone that didn’t quite work out for my girl friend.
However, I know two very awesome people who met through an ex. He was dating the roommate (girl), they broke up. Now he’s engaged to the other roommate (girl). If one thing hasn’t lead to another they’d have never met.
It seems to me there would be a lot of missed opportunities for people if they didn’t give you a chance because of your past. In more ways than one this applies I’m sure. Divorced people, Ex-Cons…yah know stuff like that.
What I’m talking about though is a conversation like this:
“Meet someone new?”
“Yeah, well….I’ll see how it goes. He kind of seems more like your “type” though. If it doesn’t work out I’ll send him your way.”
Here is what goes racing through my mind during this.
Have I somehow indicated that I need help? I’m dating. At least I’m trying to date. He’s more my “type”? Then why the heck didn’t you pass him to me in the first place? If you know it’s not going to work out in the first place why even bother going on the date than just saying, “hey, I have a friend I think you’d be more compatible with”. Why are women this way? What has gotten women to just date to date?
I’m tired of hearing that I’m being picky. Have high standards. Or just need to give him a chance. I don’t want to just date to date. If I know it’s not going to work why put the two of us through an emotional roller coaster or hurt someone?
I’m just not that person. Never have been. Never will be. And as far as being the girl who gets thrown scraps from her friends…no thanks. Situational? Yes.
If you haven’t dated the guy. Okay (as in more than one date).
It’s all in the approach and the situation. No woman ever wants to be asked out by a man who just hit on their friend in front of them and got rejected so he moved onto the next warm body. And no woman wants her friend (especially if the friend knows her well) to throw her a bone that way.
Dating is hard enough anyway. Don’t let your friends or anyone else for that matter make it harder for you.
I know. Easier said than done.